I'm not too grateful for the governance of present-tense. If you're claiming facts, then you best back them up with evidence. Next election, I'ma make sure we don't choose a demagogue. I want me a pres' who makes decisions through objective thought. Now I don't mind the party, whether democrat or socialist. The perfect candidate for me is stoic and emotionless. So someone build a prototype, run it at a local caucus. 2020, let's elect a robot to the oval office. Picture it: a ruling class of technocratic governors, a senate full of cyborgs, a cabinet full of motherboards, gliding through the White House on electromagnet hoverboards. And if they fuck shit up, then we'll just cut the cord. Furthermore, if their parts get damaged, we'll replace 'em with a blinking screen. That way we could circumvent a Kennedy or Lincoln scene. And every four to eight years, we could update with a single chip. The electoral college, there's no need for us to tinker with. If its signal dips, then it could self-repair itself, like dawg, it's got the fucking sum of human knowledge at its fingertips. Fuck a ballot box, there'll be an app that we could vote on and pick between inaugurating Megatron or Voltron. It'd never need to sleep, so we could have it running full-time. An agency of androids, tell me, what could go wrong? Look, I've seen the movies, I can tell why you'd be circumspect and try to run convergence tests and get its servers' circuits checked. And frankly, if you're worried about some sci-fi hazard, all we've gotta do is equip it with a Wi-Fi password. If the threat of total holocaust does catch you at a crossroads, I've got it figured out, we'll throw a CAPTCHA on the launch codes. Secure communications and encrypt classified cyber calls. The only type of wall we'd need to build would be a firewall. And if I recall, in twenty years our jobs'll all be automated, so what's wrong with starting by getting robots inaugurated? Like, it'd be awesome. We'd have states run by delegates with silica for skeletons, Blade Runner replicants, and cut out human error if only we had our country run by power-driven politicians, not the power-hungry ones. We'd keep it ethical and program them with moral checks and never need to worry about no Oval Office oral sex. And look, I'm not saying they'd be perfect, they'd be full of bugs. But if things go from push-to-shove to bullet slugs, we'll pull the plug. But God forbid they gain themselves a sense of social sentience. Without question they'd be claiming independence out of vengeance. So fine, I'll concede that there's two ways I see the future go, and both of them involve an ascendancy of computer code. The first's a future fate where humanfolk and robots coexist. The second's a more somber situation where things go amiss. It'd start innocuous, at first the fleet would cause no harm, holding babies, shaking leaders' hands with bionic arms, pantsuits, synthetic skin. But as we get to DEFCON 1, then we switch its hands out for blaster prosthetic limbs cast from metallic tin with built-in mobile power sources, and accidentally trigger global mecha-superpower war. Covert operations, hordes of robot-army overlords, tungsten exoskeletons, cobalt-armored vocal chords. Meanwhile at the Pentagon, DARPA intercepting bombs, overseas spawn points targeting Decepticons, weapons drawn. Autobots decide to bust in BattleMechs, ISIS-issued nanotech, Russian hacker data theft. North Korean gamma-ray missiles get the planet wrecked. And amidst the ruins and the fallen troops and metal screws would rise a second wave of resilient robot rebel groups who, if even one develops some sense of free will, rather than tryna rebuild the world, it'd be kill or be killed. And instead of fight on our behalf, they'd rather set up army drafts and get their parties staffed by flesh and skin instead of kith and kin, overthrow us hominids and try to start the world anew. Mutinies of shooting sprees to lock humans in servitude or wipe us off the planet. And when the 22nd century comes, we'll have ourselves a game of risk played by sentient sentry guns. Mechavillain Machiavellian monarchs run on JavaScript playing real-life Minesweeper on the Gaza Strip. Autonomous autocrats deploying for a Cold War, dual-core droids from both sides marching full force, hunks of high-level bipedal bright-metal bot special-ops operating missile drops. But I digress. Like, there's no need for me to go on. We've got scientists in place who'll study every proton. So here's to brighter futures, we can bid this model so long. A ministry of androids. Tell me, what could go wrong? Really, what could go wrong? What could go wrong?🏁

Submitted by Xander - 12/03/2025

I'm not too grateful for the governance of present-tense. If you're claiming facts, then you best back them up with evidence. Next election, I'ma make sure we don't choose a demagogue. I want me a pres' who makes decisions through objective thought. Now I don't mind the party, whether democrat or socialist. The perfect candidate for me is stoic and emotionless. So someone build a prototype, run it at a local caucus. 2020, let's elect a robot to the oval office. Picture it: a ruling class of technocratic governors, a senate full of cyborgs, a cabinet full of motherboards, gliding through the White House on electromagnet hoverboards. And if they fuck shit up, then we'll just cut the cord. Furthermore, if their parts get damaged, we'll replace 'em with a blinking screen. That way we could circumvent a Kennedy or Lincoln scene. And every four to eight years, we could update with a single chip. The electoral college, there's no need for us to tinker with. If its signal dips, then it could self-repair itself, like dawg, it's got the fucking sum of human knowledge at its fingertips. Fuck a ballot box, there'll be an app that we could vote on and pick between inaugurating Megatron or Voltron. It'd never need to sleep, so we could have it running full-time. An agency of androids, tell me, what could go wrong? Look, I've seen the movies, I can tell why you'd be circumspect and try to run convergence tests and get its servers' circuits checked. And frankly, if you're worried about some sci-fi hazard, all we've gotta do is equip it with a Wi-Fi password. If the threat of total holocaust does catch you at a crossroads, I've got it figured out, we'll throw a CAPTCHA on the launch codes. Secure communications and encrypt classified cyber calls. The only type of wall we'd need to build would be a firewall. And if I recall, in twenty years our jobs'll all be automated, so what's wrong with starting by getting robots inaugurated? Like, it'd be awesome. We'd have states run by delegates with silica for skeletons, Blade Runner replicants, and cut out human error if only we had our country run by power-driven politicians, not the power-hungry ones. We'd keep it ethical and program them with moral checks and never need to worry about no Oval Office oral sex. And look, I'm not saying they'd be perfect, they'd be full of bugs. But if things go from push-to-shove to bullet slugs, we'll pull the plug. But God forbid they gain themselves a sense of social sentience. Without question they'd be claiming independence out of vengeance. So fine, I'll concede that there's two ways I see the future go, and both of them involve an ascendancy of computer code. The first's a future fate where humanfolk and robots coexist. The second's a more somber situation where things go amiss. It'd start innocuous, at first the fleet would cause no harm, holding babies, shaking leaders' hands with bionic arms, pantsuits, synthetic skin. But as we get to DEFCON 1, then we switch its hands out for blaster prosthetic limbs cast from metallic tin with built-in mobile power sources, and accidentally trigger global mecha-superpower war. Covert operations, hordes of robot-army overlords, tungsten exoskeletons, cobalt-armored vocal chords. Meanwhile at the Pentagon, DARPA intercepting bombs, overseas spawn points targeting Decepticons, weapons drawn. Autobots decide to bust in BattleMechs, ISIS-issued nanotech, Russian hacker data theft. North Korean gamma-ray missiles get the planet wrecked. And amidst the ruins and the fallen troops and metal screws would rise a second wave of resilient robot rebel groups who, if even one develops some sense of free will, rather than tryna rebuild the world, it'd be kill or be killed. And instead of fight on our behalf, they'd rather set up army drafts and get their parties staffed by flesh and skin instead of kith and kin, overthrow us hominids and try to start the world anew. Mutinies of shooting sprees to lock humans in servitude or wipe us off the planet. And when the 22nd century comes, we'll have ourselves a game of risk played by sentient sentry guns. Mechavillain Machiavellian monarchs run on JavaScript playing real-life Minesweeper on the Gaza Strip. Autonomous autocrats deploying for a Cold War, dual-core droids from both sides marching full force, hunks of high-level bipedal bright-metal bot special-ops operating missile drops. But I digress. Like, there's no need for me to go on. We've got scientists in place who'll study every proton. So here's to brighter futures, we can bid this model so long. A ministry of androids. Tell me, what could go wrong? Really, what could go wrong? What could go wrong?🏁

Submitted by Xander - 12/03/2025